Posted on March 19, 2018 by Artist Rafi Perez — Leave a comment

A Letter To Myself In A Moment Of Darkness vs Light

I wanted to let you guys in on a process that I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed or dark. I write a letter to myself and then respond from a different point of view. This isn’t something that someone typically shares with folks, but I know I’m not typical, so here it is.

Warning, you may read things that concern you, don’t worry, I’m fine, this is just a way to get the feelings out in their rawest form.

“Dear self,

This week has been a tough week for me. I’ve been wading through an emotional cesspool of insecurities and old painful memories. As a result my environment has lost some of it’s vibrant color. I am walking around in a world that I recognize, yet haven’t visited in a long time. It is a dark grey world in which the sunlight is nonexistent. For a person such as myself, an artist who thrives on vibrant colors and light, this is what I imagine hell would feel like.

It’s interesting to me that when your mind takes you to a dark place, it seems like the entire world has conspired against you. It’s like you’re in a movie and the set design is based on the overall feeling of the main character. You watch yourself on the silver screen of life following an old dramatic script that you have rehearsed so many times that it seems like it all comes so naturally. You are the main character, yet no one else is experiencing what you are experiencing, feeling isolated and alone, surrounded by smiling faces, yet totally by yourself.

So, my question is this, what do I do now?”

After a short pause… I read the letter, take a deep breath and respond as best I can.

“Dear Dramatic Self,

Good question! Well, you get off your ass and out of your head. Listen, I understand that sometimes shit happens. You are going through a point in your life that might be transitional. Maybe you feel like you lost a sense of direction, maybe you are going through something emotionally taxing, maybe some button got pushed that hasn’t been pushed for a long time, maybe things just suck right now. No matter what it is, you have every excuse to feel the way you do, but that’s the thing, they’re just excuses.

In my opinion, things that people call emotionally chronic are simply practiced. You’ve spent years practicing how to be dramatic and respond to certain thoughts or situations in a certain way. That dramatic script you mentioned is a real thing, people can follow the same script over and over in their lives without even wondering if they can change it. They can feel like their thoughts are thinking them, instead of them thinking their thoughts.

You find yourself in a rut and what do you do? You sit, slump, cry, withdraw, and replay events over and over in your mind, and repeat. You find something or someone to blame for what you are feeling. Maybe you even pull yourself momentarily out of your funk by putting all your energy into being angry at this person or situation. Yet, nothing changes, this just keeps replaying over and over in your life. So much so, that you think this is just the way it is, “this is my life”.

You believe your story, you shape the world after your story, and discount anything that challenges that story. The story has to be true, if it wasn’t true, then it means you are torturing yourself for nothing.

Well, guess what? It is true. It’s true because you think it’s true, and your brilliant mind is going to do everything in it’s power to make it the truest thing you have ever experienced. Your doubt is going to punch you in the face, your insecurities about yourself are going to knock you down, your judgments and fear about people will come true, and everything you surround yourself with will be a constant reminder of your misery and fear.

Do you know what else is true? That your courage will destroy anything doubt can throw at you. Your determination will pick you up when you fall, stronger and better equipped than ever before. Your hope and unconditional love will present itself to you in overwhelming love and kindness, and everything around you will glow with vibrancy and light, this being a constant reminder of your sense of optimism and hope.

It’s ALL true… Every last bit. The question isn’t who is right or wrong, or what is true or untrue, or what you should or should not do… but simply, what would you rather do? How would you rather feel? What would you rather think? What do you want to focus on? Who do you want to be? And what do you want to believe, right now… in this moment?

We don’t carry feelings in our pocket, or find them in a box buried somewhere. We produce those feelings based on our perspectives and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. You can believe what ever it is you want to believe about yourself and what is possible for you, and you can do that right now.

Honestly, this moment is all we really ever have, this moment, right now. So make a choice, despite the script you have been rehearsing all your life. Just make a choice.

Now quit whining and pick yourself up like the awesome person I know you to be.

With Much Love, -Rafi”

And that’s it! Welcome to my world of crazy 🙂

Posted on February 27, 2018February 27, 2018 by Artist Rafi Perez — Leave a comment

The Substance Of Reality And Balloons

Recently I created a painting titled “The Substance Of The Real.” It shows a rather stoic, old century style, statue of a man struggling to hold on to a big red balloon on a string.

The statement for this piece is as follows:

ABOUT THIS PAINTING
So many things that we hold near and dear… thoughts, beliefs, or habits, we hardly ever question. Yet, many of those hold no substance. This piece is meant to be a daily reminder to question everything, to look closely at your own motivations, and to determine what is true for you… Not to ferociously hold on to something that you don’t quite understand.

Now, I wanted to clarify something about this piece and my belief in what is real in the world. I know that a lot of spiritual beliefs state that the world is an illusion, and a lot of people will be surprised to hear that I don’t believe that.

I do believe that we live in a delusion… I know, let me explain.

I don’t believe that the world is unreal in of itself. It becomes an illusion when we look at it. We look at the world through our filter of understanding, through the eyes of our knowledge, understanding, prejudices, judgments, love, ideas, opinions, and current circumstances.

That world is unreal in the same way that a dream is unreal, because it’s based on delusion. The world is just there minding it’s own business, open for interpretation, it is our interpretation that is the illusion, and thus the way we see the world is an illusion based on our own beliefs.

You take two people to see a symphony, they sit in similar seats, have the same physical experience, and yet they will have a completely unique experience. One person tells you it was terrible, the other will say it was amazing… who’s right? who’s wrong?

Whoever you agree with the most will be right, and the other person will be wrong.

I like the idea of questioning the whole delusion… Cause, you know, I can’t be right ALL the time, and chances are a lot of what I believe has the substance of a red balloon.

In my opinion, you get to choose how you feel about the world, people, politics, religion, love, relationships, anything and everything.

If you ever find yourself repeating some crappy saying that you’ve just never thought about, I suggest you look at that. Where did it come from, some older generation that maybe didn’t have their shit together yet? Maybe an old racist uncle? A victimized mother? A womanizing father? A corrupt grandfather? A jealous aunt? A hypochondriac grandmother? All people that love me, all good people, just screwed up.

I say question everything, remember that the world you see is your delusion, and that you get to decide how you feel about the world you see. You can choose love, and not hold on so vehemently to those beliefs that are outdated.

Posted on February 22, 2018February 23, 2018 by Artist Rafi Perez — 2 Comments

Don’t Forget To Just Have Fun

I know that a lot of people out there assume that I spend my days blissfully ignorant to the real world, carefree as I float on my cloud across my studio painting feverishly. I assume that when they think this, they are either hopeful that one may chose to live that way, or spiteful that I don’t take life seriously enough to grow up.

Yet, as much as I would love to live that way, I don’t have a cloud that can support my weight.

Here’s the thing, us human beings doing what ever it is that we are doing in our short yet miraculous lives, tend to take ourselves seriously.

Even as a guy who spends his days mixing paint and finger painting, I can easily play the adult.

Have you ever watched kids when they play a grown up? They get all stern and furrow brow as they shake their pointed finger angrily… and guess what, we never stop pretending, we just actually believe it’s true.

I think that growing up and watching the adults around us stress out over the things in their lives, causes us to believe that is the way you act when you are an adult. Responsibility equals stress, or at least that’s what we think it’s supposed to mean.

I’ve found myself stressing out every once in a while when I have commissions and deadlines, which then causes me to become devoid of creativity, which then causes more stress.

I’ve found that in an attempt to have ourselves taken seriously we tend to complicate our lives by pretending to be serious adults. We stress out over things and try to figure out the solutions while focused on the problem.

I could tell you two things from experience, it doesn’t work, and it’s killing your body.

My solution, or at least what I attempt to do every day (which I can easily fail miserably at) is to simply have fun and not give a rip whether ANYONE takes you seriously or not.

Just do you, your way, the way that you want to, in the most funnest way…

Life is going to happen anyway, you are going to solve your problems, or not. Either way, stressing out about it isn’t doing you or anyone else, any good.

You might as well remember and practice how to have fun.

Posted on February 13, 2018February 13, 2018 by Artist Rafi Perez — 3 Comments

Rafi Perez Is Still Standing

So, I bet you are wondering why there is such a dramatic title to this blog post. The short answer is that I have been feeling a bit dramatic lately, don’t worry just a bit.

You ever get that feeling like you’re being followed around by a doom cloud that you just can’t shake, or disperse, or evaporate, or whatever it is you do to get rid of clouds of doom?

That’s how I’m feeling. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with winter blues, getting sick in the beginning of the year, along with a few other odds and ends that have added up. Either way, I’m not writing this post to lament my miseries upon you, that would be a waste of time.

I’ve had a lot of wins recently, and a lot of failures, supportive people in my life, and ruthlessly mean people that have called me vile things… It’s easy to downward spiral and feel more failures and mean people than ever. Oh yeah, and that my art is sucking more and more every day… that’s easy to do as well.

I’m writing this blog to share something with you, in case you’ve been feeling similar to me. I know a lot of people are under the impression that I never have these types of feelings, and that’s just not true.

We all experience this stuff. We feel like failures, insignificant, or like an impostor in our own life.

It’s not whether or not we experience it or not, it’s how we handle it. Sometimes things are going to suck, and you may not like yourself or someone else very much. In those moments, it’s easy to forget that any other feeling exists… but they do.

Feelings like love, appreciation, confidence, happiness. Stopping and taking in that moment and realizing I’m still here, I’m still breathing, I’m still alive, and I’m going to rock this life thing. It’s remembering that no matter what is going on, you get to choose what you are going to focus on, and how you choose to feel about it.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of getting outside and going for a walk, anything, doing something to break the spell of the funk.

I’m still standing, and so are you… I mean, unless you’re sitting down, but even then you still rock.

Posted on October 9, 2017 by Artist Rafi Perez — Leave a comment

Why Do I Paint Birds?

I seem to have always been fascinated by birds, from the pigeons in Chicago with the iridescent neck feathers, to the occasional happy bright red cardinal.

Recently someone asked me “So, why do you paint birds?”

I though about the question for a moment and said “Overwhelming fascination.”

When I was a wee little artist, my mother who was young and dangerously overprotective, didn’t let me go outside much. For years, my entire world was from a large third floor picture window that looked down on a busy street.

I spent hours a day looking out at the people going about their day, the different birds roosting and flying about, the abstract landscape over the buildings, the little bit of greenery that would emerge from fascinating places in the concrete. I also gave everyone personalities and stories, people would have daily novellas play out in front of me, and so did the birds.

Why I Paint Birds By Rafi Perez — Love Birds By Rafi Perez

But, although I felt that the humans had dramatic stories of heartbreak, turmoil, and moments of happiness, the birds symbolized something powerful.

Birds symbolized freedom and perspective. Because they fly high into the sky, I believed they were messengers who provide humans with a bridge between the mundane daily routine and powerful spiritual life.

I know, I know… I was a weird kid.

Every once in a while I would see someone at a bench feeding bits of bread to the pigeons. From my third floor window I could see a powerful dance taking place between the person throwing the bread and the birds. I could see something beautiful, a powerful connection to something greater, a brief moment of stillness among the chaos of daily life. No one else seemed to notice, they just hurriedly went about their day, barely glancing up or interacting with one another.

Years later, with no window barrier between me and the world, I was part of that chaos. I hurried importantly past people to get to work, or anywhere for that matter. I pounded my fist and certain index fingers at people who drove too slow. I was an adult, I was busy, I had things to do, I was responsible, I didn’t have enough time, and I was miserable.

One day, the overwhelm hit a fever pitch. As I was barreling down the road cursing in my mind at the lady in the car directly in front of me, my heart started to beat out of my chest. I loosened my tie and found that my forehead was soaked in sweat. It was so bad, that I pulled over.

I stepped out of my car to get some air and walked over to a bench.

As I was sitting there, wondering if I was going to die in my stupid suit, on a dirty bench, in a strange part of town, I noticed an old man walking towards me with a crinkled up paper bag.

“Great, he’s gonna ask me for money, just look away.” I thought to myself.

The man sat down, opened his bag, and started to sprinkle little bits of bread on the ground in front of us. Like a scene out of the movie “The Birds” a hoard of pigeons and other birds descended on us.

Didn’t he see that I am an important person? I was appalled at how rude this man was, surely a bird was going to shit on my suit.

Then, my heart started up again, and I breathed in deep… and just relaxed.

Rafi-Perez-Art-92 — Fun Bird By Rafi Perez

Suddenly, amidst the gaggle of birds was a pop of bright color. A cardinal flew on to my armrest merely inches from my hand. I found myself mesmerized and just stared at it, we stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. It then jumped down, grabbed a scrap of bread and flew away.

I’m not sure how long I was on that bench. I just sat there and time seemed to slow down. I could see the world hurrying past me, people waving their fists in their cars, and others looking at their watches every five minutes. I felt like they looked so… so… stupid.

At that point the old man looked at me, I could feel him studying me.

“Taking time to do nothing often puts everything into perspective. Remember that, young man.”

Then he got up and left.

I get visited by that cardinal every once in a while, when I get caught up in hurrying through life. I sound like a crazy person, but it’s true.

And that is one reason why I paint birds.

Posted on November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 by Artist Rafi Perez — Leave a comment

6 Things That Are Awesome About Your Life That You May Overlook

They say that finding appreciation for things will bring you more happiness. So there you are, doing this life thing as best as you can, wondering if things will ever get better. You keep hearing people say “Be grateful for what you have” and you wish you could tell them to shove it up their happy little butts. I mean, if you could actually find SOMETHING to be grateful for, maybe you would be in more of a state of appreciation.

The truth is, we are always surrounded by things to be grateful for. The misconception is that it needs to be this huge profound thing, but it doesn’t… Just simple little things that often get overlooked are huge when you think about it. Here are six to get you started.

Pants

Imagine for a moment, a world where you are wearing a smelly fur diaper to cover your privates, that’s what it was like several years back. Or your junk was just out in the open flopping freely in the wind and attracting all manner of biting or stinging insects. Pants, they’re awesome, I can fall and bust my ass without having severe scrapes. Can you imagine how many times I would have to tell people “ahem, my eyes are up here.” Thank you pants!

Daylight

Imagine for a moment if there was no sun in our solar system… Oh yeah, you can’t because there would be no life on this planet. Thank you sun!

Toilets and Running Water

I know, you stop at a gas station and your bladder is ready to burst. You walk in, it is dirty and smells. “Oh, that toilet was disgusting… I had to hover.” Just be grateful that you didn’t have to dig a hole, or hover over a hole in a wooden shack that had a hefty collection of poo. People are not throwing buckets of poo out their windows and causing another black plague. Thank You Toilets! Thank You Running Water!

Internet

It used to take over a year to get information from one continent to another. Then it took a few weeks to send heartfelt telegraph messages like “John. Come soon. Stop.” You are reading this right now, on a platform that allows you to have all knowledge at your fingertips. You can communicate with several people all around the world in seconds. You can also enjoy hours upon hours of mindless fun. Thank You Internet.

Breathing

Yeah… This should be a no brainer. THANK YOU BREATHING, YOU ROCK!

Go on an appreciate with you badass self

Posted on October 19, 2015September 4, 2016 by Artist Rafi Perez — Leave a comment

16 Easy Ways To Enjoy Life Right Now

Have you ever begrudgingly wondered how some people manage to make being happy look easy? You think, it’s probably genetic, luck, or they’re just too ignorant about life to worry incessantly like a real adult. Honestly, the reason it looks easy, is because it is much easier to be happy than most of us think. A lot of us have the tendency to think that happiness requires a giant shift in our lives. We either think we need a big fat bank account or to find ourselves on a mountaintop somewhere. We tend to make happiness this complicated unattainable thing that requires habits, routines, and balance. Honestly, it is so simple that it’s almost embarrassing. Here are 16 simple ways you can enjoy your life more, starting today!

1. Focus on you, yourself and I

You, take care of you and follow your bliss. People will have their opinions, demands and suggestions. They will share these demands, opinions and suggestions. They may argue their demands, opinions and suggestions. They will lovingly express their demands, opinions and suggestions. Ultimately, however, it’s you, and you alone, that will have to live with the decisions you make in your life. Focus on what makes you happy.

2. Create time to relax

Relax, take time to just hang out with yourself and clear your mind.

3. Avoid the news

It’s easy to get sucked into public drama, gossip, or world catastrophes = online and offline. Trust that if something important happens, you’ll know about it. Otherwise, save yourself energy and spend your time on something more worthwhile… Like watching butterflies flutter.

4. Nurture your positive relationships

Hang out with people who are positive, inspiring and wonderful. Avoid people who are full of drama and constantly complaining about their lives.

5. Meet new people

Making a consistent effort to meet new people helps us fulfill and introduce new ideas and perspectives. It keeps things fresh and exciting.

6. Explore new places

New places and cultures offer a different perspective on the world and add a healthy dose of inspiration and possibility to our lives.

7. Spend money on experiences, not possessions

It’s experiences, not possessions, that create memories and meaning.

8. Cut down your junk

Physical clutter equals mental clutter; reducing the amount of stuff around us fosters a calmer mental state, too.

9. Make time for gratitude and appreciation

Creating a routine of writing down three things we feel grateful for each day helps us focus more on what we’re grateful for in life.

10. Be deliberate in your choices

We’ve never had so many opportunities to create a lifestyle that we truly love, yet many of us still live life on autopilot. Be deliberate in your life choices: remember that it’s your life and no-one else’s.

11. Invest in yourself

The more self-aware and self-accepting we are, the happier we are. Make time to read personal development books, journal, and focus on being compassionate towards yourself.

12. Allow yourself to feel happy

Many of us find it challenging to enjoy a calm, “normal” life. Give yourself permission to enjoy a drama-free existence and focus on finding pleasure in your daily experiences.

13. Practice mindfulness

Noticing how we feel and what’s around us right now is an effective way of getting out of our heads, detaching from our worries, and returning to the experience of what it’s truly like to be alive.

14. Get outside

Feel the wind on your face, the sun on your skin, and enjoy a good dose of Vitamin D and fresh air.

15. Speak your mind

When we hold back our thoughts, opinions, and desires out of fear of displeasing others, we’re not being true to ourselves. Speak up and feel uncomfortable in the short-term and you’ll enjoy life more in the long-term.

16. Record happy moments

Take photos, journal, draw—whatever you need to do to record happy moments and memories. Every time you remember an experience, you relive it, make the memories good. Enjoy.

Love you guys – Rafi

Posted on October 9, 2015October 9, 2015 by Artist Rafi Perez — Leave a comment

Let Inspiration Take You

If you could ask me six years ago “Hey Rafi, do you think you could ever make a living from your art?” I would have responded “I wish.”

I look at the old version of me, that guy was pretty cynical and pessimistic, it is no wonder I was stuck where I was. I was pretty comfortable in my corporate job following someone else’s agenda and thinking that life was all about sacrifice and quiet desperation. Obviously, I’m not living that life anymore, which is awesome.

I created a piece that is symbolic of the two versions of my life. In the past I was always waiting before making the move towards something I wanted. It was “When I have more money” or “When I have more time” or “When I retire” which never seemed to come. The bottom figure is sitting on his hands and hiding his face with his hat, which means he can’t see outside his small reality.

“Hey Rafi, do you think you could

ever make a living from your art?”

I would have responded “I wish.”

Later in life. I allowed inspiration to guide me like a mad man. I realized that life is too short to not live it fully now. I’ve always wanted to work for myself and create art for a living and decided to take the leap. The top figure is upside down with a balloon lifting him in the air. The balloon symbolizes inspiration, he is upside down because it was completely outside of my comfort zone. I had to become my biggest cheerleader in order to push myself forward through the minefield of doubt, and that was my biggest challenge. The figure is also looking up, it symbolizes the glimpse of the expanse of possibility and potentiality that we sometimes have blinders to.

I now know that it is possible for EVERYONE to succeed at anything that they put their mind to. The only thing you have to overcome is the challenge of doubt, it is the only thing that could ever truly stand in your way. I realized that I was with my own mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and I could either be self motivating or self deprecating. Had it been someone other than my own mind saying some of the crap that I said to myself I would have told them to suck an egg a long time ago.

Life IS too short to spend ANY time being mean, sarcastic, pessimistic, critical, judgmental, or mean to yourself. It’s really silly, some of the bullshit excuses we use to be unhappy. It’s your life, it’s your mind, own it. You get to decided, you either sit on your hand and wait or you let inspiration guide you even when everyone else thinks you’re nuts.

Tag: letting go