I had hoped not, but apparently, we are.

Recently, I had written a private blog about a bad experience I had with a local arts organization. That blog shot up to the top of google search when you looked up our town. Some folks felt concerned, because they felt that my blog made the town look bad. I decided at that moment, to let go and forget the issue. I took down the blog and carried on with my life. However, it has recently come to my attention that the people involved are still using my name in a derogatory way.

So, the updated story is going back up and I’m not keeping it private. I’ve changed some names so it wouldn’t pop up to the top of the search engines, but here’s the full story in all of it’s glory.

To all those people out there who are concerned about bad publicity, I’m sorry, but I’m simply sharing my experience and if you don’t want bad publicity, don’t let people who represent you act like a bunch of mean girls in high school.

So, recently, I started A Local Art Syndicate, a collective of artists in our area. Our intent was to bridge the gap between artists, galleries, open calls, and arts organizations, and share resources. Simple. We wanted to build bridges and give artists a voice. Lately, I’ve discovered that some people prefer sitting on a pile of rocks in the middle of a river, screaming at anyone who tries to bring a shovel and build a bridge.

We reached out to our local arts organizations and received a warm embrace and excitement about what we were doing… except one. I should say, three people who head an organization (who all happen to be related) were the problem. Unfortunately for the other people in that organization (who are actually pretty awesome) my interactions have been with these three. It all started with a “stupid form” for an event that exposed a deep-seated culture of gatekeeping and high-school drama within the organization that we will call the “Boil Kitty Farts Council.”

Buckle up. It gets weird.

It started with me trying to be helpful. (Mistake #1).

I added their upcoming event to our Art Syndicate calendar to promote it. Then, a friend and artist mentioned they were getting major pushback for questioning the application form and that no one had signed up because the form didn’t make sense. Then, more artists from the Syndicate started emailing me, asking, “Rafi, what is this form even for?”

Because we want to support local “Farts” organizations, we decided we would do the event and decided to look at it. I was like, WTF is this? It was a “Vendor Form” for an “Exhibition” where you couldn’t actually “Vend.” It was like being invited to a “Cooking Competition” where you aren’t allowed to turn on the stove. They wanted you to become a partner, but the benefits were vague and confusing. It was all over the place.

I sent an email to get some clarity and ask if we could make some changes to the form. The response? A bunch of justifications, a vocabulary lesson on what the word EXPO meant, a weird reminder that the sender had a business degree, and a note that they were “born and raised here.”

Cool story. But… is there any plan to fix the form at some point?

I responded and thank them for their clarity (I was being polite) and told them that many of my concerns were not addressed. So, I mentioned that I would come to the meeting and address the board with my questions. No big deal, I just want to help.

The person in charge then emailed me and said I couldn’t address the board because I wasn’t on the agenda, which is a violation of how public boards actually work. I called this person on the phone to clear the air. She told me her daughter had taken my initial email personally. (Because nothing says “Professional Board Member” like letting your family’s feelings dictate public policy.) I told her: “I want the event to succeed!” We talked about budgets and how the city has their hands tied and whatnots. It was friendly enough. However, when I asked again to speak at the meeting. Suddenly, the wall went back up. “You’re not on the agenda.” I said, “Cool, we’ll come anyway as members of the public.”

The day of the meeting we walked into a room and the vibe was… icy. It was like a “Be On the Lookout” alert had been issued for us.

During the meeting, I used the word “sketchy” to describe the form. I didn’t realize that in Boil Kitty, calling a form “sketchy” is apparently a declaration of war. I know there could have been better words I could have used, but in all honesty, it was sketchy and raised red flags. The form was a total misdirect. “Sign up to be a vendor at this expo! Well, no not really, you are actually signing up to be a partner… and no, you can’t vend… but you DO get a table.”

The next morning, the “Legacy” email went out. Apparently, my critique of a form had “tainted the 30-year legacy” of the Farts Town-full. I wasn’t mentioned by name but I’m the only one who said those words. She name dropped a bunch of people who have done awesome things for the arts community (she did this twice in our email exchanges) and associated her name with them. The funny thing is that we have also worked with those people and they would never behaved the way she was behaving.

Then the rumors started. Leadership was reportedly going to local shops asking, “Have you heard the drama about the form?” I hate gossip. It’s juvenile. So I wrote a blog laying out the truth. Transparency is the best disinfectant, right? Well, apparently, they prefer the dark alleys of hearsay. There were other things said about us that I will not share because I don’t want the people that came forward to get any backlash. Let’s just say, they were spreading lies about us.

I then sent a formal complaint to the full board before sending it to the City Manager. The response? Total silence. At this point, I realized this whole situation was consuming my peace. I didn’t want a war over a form for an event nobody was signing up for anyway. So, I took the high road. I retracted the complaint. I took down the blog. I offered to help as a guest. I thought being the “bigger person” would end it. Spoiler: I was very wrong.

Then our friend and artist on the board resigned. And how did the leadership handle it? They used my name to attack her in the response to her resignation.

They accused her of bringing her “friends” to the meeting to “secretly record” a public meeting (which is a legal right, by the way). They used my name as a weapon to bully a volunteer who was already emotionally tormented by the whole situation.

The truth is, from the beginning, these individuals have compartmentalized information, twisted the facts, and straight up lied to plead their case. I tried to organize a mediation, so we could address them and the board, and although they agreed to it, the idea of mediation just vanished.

We later found out they were adversarial before we even had our first Syndicate meeting. They saw us as a threat before we ever said a word. Recently, we’ve seen them at other meetings and events, and have experienced the cold shoulder and avoidance. It feels like high school drama. It’s pretty stupid.

So why am I sharing this story again? Because I’m done staying quiet about it. We were asked not to “make the town look bad” by talking about one of its organizations. But listen: I’m not making the town look bad. I’m just holding the flashlight. If the light shows a mess, don’t blame the light. So many people came out of the woodwork that had had similar experiences, yet nobody is talking about it. By avoiding the problem, no change happens.

So, what am I hoping to accomplish? Do I want them fired and take over the Farts Council? Although this is one of the rumors they spread, I have zero interest in taking over. I also don’t need anyone to step down or be fired, but there needs to be accountability. There needs to be a system where people of the community can give feedback without backlash. Honestly, it needs to be more professional. It should be a safe place where people can disagree and keep it from devolving into high school drama. And although I love and adore most of the board members, at no point in time did any of them reach out to address my concerns. Everyone just stayed quiet and avoided the drama that was escalating. How is that acceptable?

What are my plans moving forward? We have always had a very public presence when it comes to helping artists and showcasing what we do. You guys also know that I call it like I see it? So, I’m going to continue to do what I have always done, share my experiences with you. I am not however going to go head to head and make it personal. I’m not going to name names or be hateful in our videos, blogs, and other forms of expression, but you sure as shit know I’m going to use it as examples in my materials for artists. So, at the end of the day, their behavior will be used in videos, blogs, podcasts, and books, to share best practices with the creative community in dealing with people like this.

So there it is! That’s the full story up to now for full transparency. I may do a video in the future because I actually have footage of a lot of this. I was filming a week in the life when this weird situation took over my existence. But we’ll see.

Tips for My Fellow Artists Who Might Be Dealing With Something Similar

1. Don’t judge the whole Board: Most people are there to help. It’s usually just one or two bad actors poisoning the well.
2. Don’t get pulled into the drama: Keep your focus on your art. Speak your truth, but don’t gossip, it will make you just as bad as them. Most importantly, don’t get emotionally pulled into their drama and feel like a victim to them. You are not.
3. The Truth is the defense: If an organization looks bad because you told the truth, there are issues that need addressing.
4. Keep the receipts: Save every email. Documentation is the only cure for a rumor mill. I have all documentation and recordings of these interactions.
5. Know when to walk away: If they don’t respect your time, they don’t deserve your talent. You don’t need a seat at the table especially if the don’t respect you. Doesn’t mean you can’t share your experience with others.

The honest truth? Organizations like this run themselves into the ground. Creative organizations need creative people to function. If you run all the creatives off the board… you’re just a group of people sitting in a room talking about things you know nothing about.

Stay rebellious, stay creative, and don’t let the gatekeepers win.