I wrote this to my amazing rogue artist family on Patreon today and wanted to share it with all of you.
We are still waiting on test results for COVID and I am convinced we do not have it, but there is no way to be sure until we get the results.
It is interesting to me, finding myself at this moment where I feel so run down, and not well, with this lingering thought in the air of “Do I have it?”
We don’t feel well, yet we’re not exhibiting many of the severe symptoms, which is great. The symptoms we do have are not constant such as chills and headaches… Although fatigue and body aches seem to go from extreme to not so extreme.
I made the mistake of reading some news about the situation out there in outside land and a sense of sadness took over.
Humans are such beautiful creatures who can accomplish extraordinary things when they stand together in that beauty… Yet everyone seems so divided right now…
I am holding back the tears in my eyes as I write this…
Maybe I’m feeling the effects of the fatigue and right now is NOT the time to be reading any world news. Especially because I have not been creating an outlet for myself of my art.
I always feel that by creating beauty, empowering people, and expressing how beautiful and amazing we all are – it’s my way of adding light into a world that seems to have a shadow looming… If everyone understood how absolutely amazing they were, they wouldn’t power struggle to be better than someone else… No one is better, we are all beautiful and uniquely perfect at being who we are, which is an ever-changing, ever-evolving thing that grows and blooms as we experience this crazy thing called life.
I don’t know… Part of my brain says “You are so full of crap Rafi, nothing you do is meaningful, nothing you do has an effect on anything.” Luckily, I don’t buy into that voice.
Sure, everyone may not find it meaningful, but I feel that everything we do impacts the world. Just existing and breathing has an impact on the world around you.
It’s like walking into a room where someone has been stewing in anger and you can FEEL the tension in the room… We can FEEL others joy, sadness, hopefulness, anger, fear… and it is contagious.
Right now I feel sadness, but less so than I felt before I started writing this. I may not be creating art right now, but I am creating this… expressing my empowerment and ability to understand that even the smallest flicker of light can shine bright in the darkness.
We all can shine bright in the darkness with the smallest flicker of hope and love. We can cultivate that flicker into a flame and eventually a burst of light as powerful as the sun… and it all resides within us… Imagine knowing that everyone can somehow feel that, and that light is contagious.
Love… Hope… Feeling empowered… Feeling beautiful… And knowing that we are all a force of nature.
Yeah… I definitely need to get back to painting and creating soon 🙂
I Adore You All-Rafi
mary and I got tested for covid 10 days ago, after she returned with a sore throat following a week long business trip to NC … last week they told us we were both negative.
hoping you and klee’s tests come back identically …
and yes, we all need to get back to doing what we are best at doing – all creatives must maintain their highest level of protection against this plague and the massive stupidity that is preventing its quick demise …
we must not lose sight of the small place in time that we have and the importance of sharing our visions with the world …
what we do does matter …
what we do does help …
what we can do we should do, and it is important that we do not fail to do so at every opportunity …
peace.
Beautifully put Gary!
Hi Rafi, I have that same voice in my head that says mean stuff when I’m feeling tired and sad…we must both be human! To add to your idea that we are all light filled beings, I think we are also all searching for ways to let our lights shine out…in Julia Cameron’s book, “Walking in this world”, she writes, “When an artist stops creating they tend to create dramas in their lives”. I know that when I’m tired I often get sad, and when I’m sad I often begin to think there’s no hope and my art is useless…see? Drama! Just tell that mean old voice to piss off- you definitely make a difference in our artists world! Go shed some light Rafi! Looking forward to your next post! Thank you!😊💕
Thinking about you my friend and fellow artist.
Draw your strength from your art. No matter what life throws at me, even 20 minutes in my studio, just thinking about existing projects and future ones invigorates me enough to last another day.
Get well!
Delmus
Hi Rafi and Klee,
Here in the UK we haven’t had adequate facilities/equipment for Covid-19 testing due to government incompetence and initial unwillingness to spend money (except on cheap chinese tests and PPE which turned out to be unfit for purpose….). Most of us don’t even know if we’ve had the virus, we were just told to stay at home and self-isolate….However, some of us have observed altered mental states with some people who have tested positive for the virus, it seems to precipitate a depression or worse, symptoms of schizophrenia….. So take a daily aspirin to help prevent your blood clotting; eat fresh fruit and veg, seeds, nuts….get some sun on your skin and go for a daily walk outside (absorb some vitamin D!!!) Observe social distancing and yes, wash your hands frequently. I haven’t much felt like painting during the anxiety of the UK lockdown, so I focused on improving my garden and growing veg and fruit; plus a little de-cluttering inside my house. It helps to either stay busy gardening or chill out and watch comedies or films on tv/computer. Don’t be hard on yourselves for not feeling creative urges….it’s the anxiety of not knowing whether you have got/had the virus….Today, I felt like painting again…yay!!!! So your creative passions WILL return!! Meanwhile look after each other, eat well, try and rest as well as exercising daily…..and do keep posting your informative, honest from the heart, thought-provoking youtube videos….just to let us all know you are both ok. Love and hugs, stay safe and keep creating when you feel up to it. Love Caz from the UK xxxxx ❤❤ ps my website is under construction, but I couldn’t comment without adding a url…..
I hope you and Klee don’t have too wait too long for your results. Sending good thoughts and prayers the results are negative for you both. If they are, be sure to check in with your doctors to see what is going on with you. The world needs you both as you do spread your light through your art. Much love, Judy G.
💝Love you too Rafi!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Rafi, I am sure you and Klee will recover. Even if it was Covid, the younger ones get better. Hang in there, and you will be back to it before you know it!