You may be shocked to hear that you are beautiful. Yes, you, the person reading this right now is beautiful, amazing, unique, wonderful and totally awesome.
I always find it interesting how many people don’t realize how fantastic they actually are. How wonderful their unique
point of view of the world is and how amazingly sexy they are. Yes, I called you sexy…
See, you may look at yourself in the mirror and see that weird birthmark, or your crooked teeth, or the hair in areas where it doesn’t belong. Maybe you notice back fat, a muffin top, small breasts, too big breasts, skinny legs, weird physical features, scars, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short or whatever other word may follow “Too” when describing yourself. This list can sometimes be long enough to fill shelves with countless editions of “Why I suck today” books.
The truth of the matter is that the person you’re with (or others) don’t actually see what you see in the mirror. What they see is someone they would like to strip naked with and get busy, like right now… or sooner than now if possible.
In fact, when most people get together, the beginning days are all about that… getting busy, a lot. I think the reason this happens is because you take a momentary vacation from your usual habit of breaking yourself down, you see yourself instead through the eyes of the person that finds you amazing, so for a brief period of time, you find yourself amazing. Eventually, you go back to criticizing yourself and then reminisce about the way things used to be.
If Klee (my wife) asked me what physical attribute I find attractive about her I think immediately my dude brain goes to “I like your boobs and your butt”… Yeah, well, I like them, a lot. Now, after my initial caveman response, I love her shoulders, her hands, her eyes, her smile, her snaggle teeth, the way she walks, her neck, her button nose, her freckles, and the list goes on.
For the most part, she feels good about herself but there are days where neither one of us may “feel” sexy or beautiful… Interestingly, no matter how she feels about herself all I see are the things I love and that list grows every day.
The fact of the matter is that if I ask her the same question about me, she would list off a billion things that I didn’t even think of… and most importantly, she wouldn’t even notice the things that I criticize about myself.
The people around you will eventually see what you constantly draw their attention to. This is where you have the power to rock or ruin a relationship. No worries though, it can be easily turned around if you take control of the way you talk about yourself.
See, when you constantly complain about your own body, the person you are with will have their desire to enjoy and love you erode a little at a time. In other words, you’re rejecting them by rejecting yourself.
Here’s an example:
They say, “I could touch your body all day, I love everything about you.” and you say, “I’m too fat, I need to loose weight.”
You just tore yourself down, and tore down how that person feels about you. Their desire, excitement and thoughts about you… rejected. Eventually, the rejection will add up and the relationship communication can become mundane and not very exciting.
No worries though, this is easily turned around by doing the opposite. Talk about the things you love about your body, talk about the things you love about their body. Talk about how sexy you feel, trust me, the person you are with will appreciate it.
For the longest time I felt insecure about my gap between my front teeth. I would smile a ridiculous closed mouth smile that made me look slightly disturbed. As it turns out, it’s one of the features that Klee finds attractive.
You see, people love what makes you unique. Hair color, curly hair, wavy hair, thin hair, thick hair, chipped tooth, body type, clothing style, crooked smile, and anything else that makes you completely unique. These are your features, things that make you unique and are truly beautiful.
This piece is inspired by the beauty and perfection that is you. The fact of the matter is that no one is as perfect at being YOU as you are. It begs to ask, if you had a choice, what would you say about you when you look in the mirror? There is magic in reaching out a hand and remembering that you have a choice… always.
Klee Angelie
Artist Rafi Perez