Hey everyone, Rafi here. The story I’m about to share is not an example of what you should aspire to. In fact, I suggest not being like me at all. I’ve spent the last two weeks engaged in a wrestling match with a persistent, annoying cough that’s currently making the rounds. Apparently, this cough didn’t get the memo that I have things to do.
Last week, it finally sent me over the edge. The doctor handed me antibiotics, and in my infinite optimism, I thought, “Great! I’ll be back to 100% by lunch.” I did the responsible thing: I canceled my meetings, put my art projects on hold, and essentially transformed into a potato. I was pretty out of it for most of the week.
By Friday, I felt a glimmer of life. Klee and I drove down to Corry to judge an art show. The town is adorable, and the Corry Arts Guild is doing some truly incredible work. We had a blast meeting everyone and seeing the talent there… right up until my internal battery hit 0% and we had to high-tail it home.
Naturally, I took this “out of steam” feeling as a sign that I should rest. That’s what a sane person would do. However, on Saturday, I woke up, decided I was “better,” and headed into the yard to do much needed yard work. Pro tip: If you are on antibiotics, just rest. I ended up in a total physical shutdown. You might be thinking, that I realized my foul ways and decided that rest was a priority… nope.
Despite my body waving a white flag, the week kept moving because, apparently, I can’t say no:
- The 80ft Mural: Met with the Southside Neighborhood Association about the “Laugh and Play” park. We’re working on a grant to repair that massive wall and bring a new mural to life. Fingers crossed!
- The Elks Club: Another meeting, another mural, and another grant application. I’m basically a grant form-filler at this point.
- The Classroom: Monday rolled around and I felt wrecked, but duty called. We spent the day making art with some awesome kids. It’s hard to feel sick when you’re surrounded by that much creative energy.
- Mural Fest Chaos: In between coughing fits, I’ve been organizing Mural Fest. I’m currently neck-deep in sponsorship forms, artist applications, and drawing up plans to build the “Mural Monoliths.” It’s going to be massive, provided I stay upright long enough to see it through.
- The Night Market: Met with Anna to finalize details for the Oil City Night Market application, logistics, and marketing. Night market is going to be awesome, but at this point, I need to step back.
Something interesting happened while being sick this long that I’ve never really faced before. Maybe it’s because I’m usually always on the move, but my insecurity started to flare up big time. I started thinking I was being boring or a total burden to Klee because I was sidelined. I felt like I was letting everyone down and that I’d somehow lost all my credibility because I couldn’t “do it all” right now.
Because we talk about everything, I brought this up to Klee. She looked at me and said, “No way. You are not a burden and you are definitely never boring.” Then she added something that hit me: “However, I do feel like you do A LOT. So, when you rest, I finally get to rest.”
Turns out, my forced pit stop was actually a breather for both of us.
By Tuesday afternoon, the cough returned with a vengeance while I worked on designs for a new art series I will debut in a September exhibition.
Mind you, I was still on the first round of antibiotics. I spent Wednesday meeting with a wonderful friend and collector who drove into town for a commission, then I pivoted back to the “Grant-Writing-Exhibition-Planning-September-Series-Designing” vortex. Oh, and I had to coordinate the closing for the exhibition at the Exchange.
Last night, my lungs decided they weren’t finished complaining. Back to the doctor I went, and I’ve now been leveled up to “Stronger Antibiotics: Phase 2.”
The moral? “I feel better” or “I’m fine” is a lie told by the part of your brain jar that just wants you to get off the couch so it can collapse in a more interesting location. When your body tells you to sit or lay down, it’s not a suggestion, it’s a mandate. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you certainly can’t build a Mural Monolith if you’re hacking up a lung every three minutes.
My Advice to You (I need to start listening to myself)
Listen to your internal “check engine” light. If you try to power through a physical shutdown with work, projects, meetings, and grant writing, your body will eventually take the keys away and lock you in the bedroom. Rest isn’t “lost time,” it’s an investment so you don’t end up on the “Stronger Antibiotics” like I did.
The good news? The grants are moving forward, the Mural Fest plans are solidifying, and the September series is looking incredible in my congested head. I am officially surrendering to the couch for the rest of the week, armed with my new meds and a lot of hot soup. I’ll be back at the easel soon, fully recharged and hopefully cough-free.
Stay healthy out there, and for the love of art, if you get sick, just stay in bed.
Much love, Rafi
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Dear Rafi,
I hope as I’m writing this your health has been returning more and more to you.
My little nugget; I’ve noticed that not just our life-life-to-the-fullest approach tries to take over, but something else can happen too.
Recently I caught a virus turning my insides out, but also my mindset and upbeat personality were sick. I felt awful and my thoughts were awful. My head and heart screamed at me internally that I was a fraud, an awful mother, even worse artist, life was meaningless and why should I even bother… I had really intense and scary nightmares too.
Luckily I was the first in our home and when my kids got it, I was able to tell them the virus was being like on really bad drugs for two days. and I was able to soften the experience a bit.
I noticed that being caring and mothering really helped them. 🙂
But, people like you and me… We are professionals and busy and we have responsibilities… In the process taking care of my kids (which I love to do) I noticed we hardly mother ourselves the caring, warm and fluffy way. While we’re really allowed to. Certainly at times when our bodies aren’t well.
So I indulged myself in a couple of days being a 8 year old kid. Watching cartoons. Eating “bad” food , but what my belly strangely would accept. And drinking “bad” things, like Chai Choco Bombs with marshmallow in them. I was like my own favourite grandmother. You know, the one who spoils you and gives your presents all the time.
After a couple of days I felt so REJUVINATED. So I’d thought I’d pass it on.
Have a great weekend!
Great advice-feel better Rafi! Have you ever tried salt therapy (you go into a room and very fine salt flies around you like magical pixie dust)? They’ve popped up in the past ten years or so and it does really help with cough and lung issues. The one near me charges $25 for a half hour and I went just once and felt much better. May be worth a shot! Hope you’re on the mend soon 🤗💖
My motto, rest day(s) early save weeks later.
Learn the signs Rafi. Get better soon!
Terri
Sorry to hear your body is not up to your schedule. Just take care of yourself. You’ll be back to full strength artist before you know it.
I know the feeling, I’ve been walking on a sprained foot for weeks but I have to keep going when I should be resting it. I’m trying to do jobs where I can sit down but life doesn’t take a break. Our daughter and 4 grandkids were just visiting for 6 long days, no rest in that situation. Hope your feeling better soon.
Rafi, I think it’s called burning the candle at both ends. I turn 73 at the end of the month, I noticed that my life had changed quite a few years ago, perhaps my years of pushing it was behind me. I go to bed late, I wake up late, I have a morning nap and often an evening nap. I push myself to create, I’ve got a new novel at the publishers, and I have an art exhibit coming up at the end of the summer, I still have to create all the paintings. I have trips planned and other stuff during the summer. I take care other stuff too, like my mom who is 97. The key for me is to be very careful to say no, don’t go if I don’t need to, plan ahead, and use mechanisms to help me, like ordering food and having it delivered by the grocery store so I don’t have to deal with shopping in a grocery store. There has to be a point where you learn not to schedule so much, to back off and let other people help you, or just break down what your true priorities are. Not ever a simple task for creatives. Sometimes, the ideas come at me so fast, there’s not enough time. As, I’ve had to deal with a huge list of physical problems, it’s come down to me first in all cases, I can’t help you, if I can’t help myself. Rest and health are key to everything. Take the time to relax, meditate, and eat healthy. I think your worthy of that. Sending lots of love to both of you. Elicia Burton
Gosh, hoping you can slow down and take good care of yourself. I can relate to the inability to press the pause button though. Sending hugs to you both! Holly
I hope you are feeling better very soon.
I had to laugh for a lot of this because, big surprise, I can SO relate!!! I bet there are many of us who have the same debacle over whatever bug is making the rounds and it just cracks me up anymore! I came down with an autoimmune disorder a couple of years ago and it put me in bed for almost a month……that was my first brush with this issue. One wonders if I have gotten any better at actually listening to my body when its yelling for help. I will not answer that! Some of us are slow to learn! Carry on you fabulous artists!!!
Sending prayers and healing vibes to you! So sorry you aren’t feeling well
Thank you ❤️
Sounds like you are a workaholic. I know the symptoms because I am one too. I have to keep telling myself to rest, that it’s not laziness.
I hope you feel better soon.
Yes, and I would like to be a recovering workaholic.
Rafi I am at the end stage of this vicious flu or viral infection whatever it is… so I understand … I felt guilty for not engaging in my daily routine… thought I was “ strong woman”… I was not…. Horrid cough, tight chest, weak body all of it …. two stints of anti biotics, steroid pills, ultra strong cough meds …. !! I feel ya!l Take it from me… STOP AND REST… give yourself time… the healing will take a while… I am on my 6 th week and still have a slight cough and have to rest every hour or so… make yourself the priority… sending vie hug and chicken soup!
Thank you! Sending you healing as well ❤️