I had hoped not, but apparently, we are.
Recently, I had written a private blog about a bad experience I had with a local arts organization. That blog shot up to the top of google search when you looked up our town. Some folks felt concerned, because they felt that my blog made the town look bad. I decided at that moment, to let go and forget the issue. I took down the blog and carried on with my life. However, it has recently come to my attention that the people involved are still using my name in a derogatory way.
So, the updated story is going back up and I’m not keeping it private. I’ve changed some names so it wouldn’t pop up to the top of the search engines, but here’s the full story in all of it’s glory.
To all those people out there who are concerned about bad publicity, I’m sorry, but I’m simply sharing my experience and if you don’t want bad publicity, don’t let people who represent you act like a bunch of mean girls in high school.
So, recently, I started A Local Art Syndicate, a collective of artists in our area. Our intent was to bridge the gap between artists, galleries, open calls, and arts organizations, and share resources. Simple. We wanted to build bridges and give artists a voice. Lately, I’ve discovered that some people prefer sitting on a pile of rocks in the middle of a river, screaming at anyone who tries to bring a shovel and build a bridge.
We reached out to our local arts organizations and received a warm embrace and excitement about what we were doing… except one. I should say, three people who head an organization (who all happen to be related) were the problem. Unfortunately for the other people in that organization (who are actually pretty awesome) my interactions have been with these three. It all started with a “stupid form” for an event that exposed a deep-seated culture of gatekeeping and high-school drama within the organization that we will call the “Boil Kitty Farts Council.”
Buckle up. It gets weird.
It started with me trying to be helpful. (Mistake #1).
I added their upcoming event to our Art Syndicate calendar to promote it. Then, a friend and artist mentioned they were getting major pushback for questioning the application form and that no one had signed up because the form didn’t make sense. Then, more artists from the Syndicate started emailing me, asking, “Rafi, what is this form even for?”
Because we want to support local “Farts” organizations, we decided we would do the event and decided to look at it. I was like, WTF is this? It was a “Vendor Form” for an “Exhibition” where you couldn’t actually “Vend.” It was like being invited to a “Cooking Competition” where you aren’t allowed to turn on the stove. They wanted you to become a partner, but the benefits were vague and confusing. It was all over the place.
I sent an email to get some clarity and ask if we could make some changes to the form. The response? A bunch of justifications, a vocabulary lesson on what the word EXPO meant, a weird reminder that the sender had a business degree, and a note that they were “born and raised here.”
Cool story. But… is there any plan to fix the form at some point?
I responded and thank them for their clarity (I was being polite) and told them that many of my concerns were not addressed. So, I mentioned that I would come to the meeting and address the board with my questions. No big deal, I just want to help.
The person in charge then emailed me and said I couldn’t address the board because I wasn’t on the agenda, which is a violation of how public boards actually work. I called this person on the phone to clear the air. She told me her daughter had taken my initial email personally. (Because nothing says “Professional Board Member” like letting your family’s feelings dictate public policy.) I told her: “I want the event to succeed!” We talked about budgets and how the city has their hands tied and whatnots. It was friendly enough. However, when I asked again to speak at the meeting. Suddenly, the wall went back up. “You’re not on the agenda.” I said, “Cool, we’ll come anyway as members of the public.”
The day of the meeting we walked into a room and the vibe was… icy. It was like a “Be On the Lookout” alert had been issued for us.
During the meeting, I used the word “sketchy” to describe the form. I didn’t realize that in Boil Kitty, calling a form “sketchy” is apparently a declaration of war. I know there could have been better words I could have used, but in all honesty, it was sketchy and raised red flags. The form was a total misdirect. “Sign up to be a vendor at this expo! Well, no not really, you are actually signing up to be a partner… and no, you can’t vend… but you DO get a table.”
The next morning, the “Legacy” email went out. Apparently, my critique of a form had “tainted the 30-year legacy” of the Farts Town-full. I wasn’t mentioned by name but I’m the only one who said those words. She name dropped a bunch of people who have done awesome things for the arts community (she did this twice in our email exchanges) and associated her name with them. The funny thing is that we have also worked with those people and they would never behaved the way she was behaving.
Then the rumors started. Leadership was reportedly going to local shops asking, “Have you heard the drama about the form?” I hate gossip. It’s juvenile. So I wrote a blog laying out the truth. Transparency is the best disinfectant, right? Well, apparently, they prefer the dark alleys of hearsay. There were other things said about us that I will not share because I don’t want the people that came forward to get any backlash. Let’s just say, they were spreading lies about us.
I then sent a formal complaint to the full board before sending it to the City Manager. The response? Total silence. At this point, I realized this whole situation was consuming my peace. I didn’t want a war over a form for an event nobody was signing up for anyway. So, I took the high road. I retracted the complaint. I took down the blog. I offered to help as a guest. I thought being the “bigger person” would end it. Spoiler: I was very wrong.
Then our friend and artist on the board resigned. And how did the leadership handle it? They used my name to attack her in the response to her resignation.
They accused her of bringing her “friends” to the meeting to “secretly record” a public meeting (which is a legal right, by the way). They used my name as a weapon to bully a volunteer who was already emotionally tormented by the whole situation.
The truth is, from the beginning, these individuals have compartmentalized information, twisted the facts, and straight up lied to plead their case. I tried to organize a mediation, so we could address them and the board, and although they agreed to it, the idea of mediation just vanished.
We later found out they were adversarial before we even had our first Syndicate meeting. They saw us as a threat before we ever said a word. Recently, we’ve seen them at other meetings and events, and have experienced the cold shoulder and avoidance. It feels like high school drama. It’s pretty stupid.
So why am I sharing this story again? Because I’m done staying quiet about it. We were asked not to “make the town look bad” by talking about one of its organizations. But listen: I’m not making the town look bad. I’m just holding the flashlight. If the light shows a mess, don’t blame the light. So many people came out of the woodwork that had had similar experiences, yet nobody is talking about it. By avoiding the problem, no change happens.
So, what am I hoping to accomplish? Do I want them fired and take over the Farts Council? Although this is one of the rumors they spread, I have zero interest in taking over. I also don’t need anyone to step down or be fired, but there needs to be accountability. There needs to be a system where people of the community can give feedback without backlash. Honestly, it needs to be more professional. It should be a safe place where people can disagree and keep it from devolving into high school drama. And although I love and adore most of the board members, at no point in time did any of them reach out to address my concerns. Everyone just stayed quiet and avoided the drama that was escalating. How is that acceptable?
What are my plans moving forward? We have always had a very public presence when it comes to helping artists and showcasing what we do. You guys also know that I call it like I see it? So, I’m going to continue to do what I have always done, share my experiences with you. I am not however going to go head to head and make it personal. I’m not going to name names or be hateful in our videos, blogs, and other forms of expression, but you sure as shit know I’m going to use it as examples in my materials for artists. So, at the end of the day, their behavior will be used in videos, blogs, podcasts, and books, to share best practices with the creative community in dealing with people like this.
So there it is! That’s the full story up to now for full transparency. I may do a video in the future because I actually have footage of a lot of this. I was filming a week in the life when this weird situation took over my existence. But we’ll see.
Tips for My Fellow Artists Who Might Be Dealing With Something Similar
- Don’t judge the whole Board: Most people are there to help. It’s usually just one or two bad actors poisoning the well.
- Don’t get pulled into the drama: Keep your focus on your art. Speak your truth, but don’t gossip, it will make you just as bad as them. Most importantly, don’t get emotionally pulled into their drama and feel like a victim to them. You are not.
- The Truth is the defense: If an organization looks bad because you told the truth, there are issues that need addressing.
- Keep the receipts: Save every email. Documentation is the only cure for a rumor mill. I have all documentation and recordings of these interactions.
- Know when to walk away: If they don’t respect your time, they don’t deserve your talent. You don’t need a seat at the table especially if the don’t respect you. Doesn’t mean you can’t share your experience with others.
The honest truth? Organizations like this run themselves into the ground. Creative organizations need creative people to function. If you run all the creatives off the board… you’re just a group of people sitting in a room talking about things you know nothing about.
Stay rebellious, stay creative, and don’t let the gatekeepers win.
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[…] a recent meeting of the Organization that shall not be named, the person that is supposed to be in charge looked at the only two artists at the meeting and […]
As a former member of said board I can very much understand this whole situation and can speak to the “clickish” nature of it
If you are not one of them then your opinion does not matter and that is ultimately why I left.
I so wanted to help make a difference but all I faced was snide side comments or complete indifference. I was just a body taking up space. They are just after some sort of prestige not actually accomplishing anything meaningful.
Yeah, that’s the message I was getting too.
ah so sorry this happened to you amazing people. I have also stepped back from a leadership role due to lack of support and constant complaints but no one stepping up to help. Our current society “wants” but no one is willing to “give”. Life works both ways, to get you must be willing to give. Its how nature works. It pains me to step back. I felt I could have made a difference but that can only happen if the receiver(s) are willing. Its a weird world out there.
Well done Rafa. Don’t waste your energy on people who are immature. Continue to stand on your beliefs and artistic creativity. On an aside…I’ve missed most of you and Klee’s live streams…my bad…all the best
🤦🏼♂️ At the risk of being misunderstood, there are always people who want control. Things like clarification, improvement and change are threatening to them. Friendly advice to you my friends is remember when we used to say “choose your battles”? Well nowadays everything is a battle, so “choose which hill you want to die on”. Those of us who follow you want to remind you that “you are awesome.”
Thank you ❤️
Wow, that’sI a lot! I am sorry you are going through this. Just keep on being your awesome self, to hell with them! 🙂
UGH! I got in a situation once when I attempted to help out an organization. I didn’t end well, and still gives me anxiety when I remember it. You’ve put too much into this community and your new home. These people are too threatened somehow, to be able to listen and react with logic. I think your mistake was to try to form your syndicate without getting a buy-in from this coucil. I think they would have opposed your intention, since they seem to think they are in charge of all art matters in your town. Good luck talking them down from their tree. I don’t know if you can win this one, now that you know they have rabies.
We are just going to do what we do with or without them ❤️
Good on you!!! I have had experiences in the same family of this one and it was in Southern Ca so perhaps it is a universal truth that a lot of the people who want to be artists get into positions of power in organizations that are supposed to support artists.
Then they do their best to undermine, shut down and sabotage any artist that triggers them. There is no reasoning with them because they are all about the feelings and reason has fled from them. They need to be confronted with truth and reality so keep up the good work…..as a brilliant young lady once said .\”Be you, the world will adjust.”
Or not but that is the world’s problem!!! Much love to you guys and next year Please make more calendars so I can buy 10 of them this time!!! The card you guys sent with the ones I got has a place of honor on my desk and it greets me everytime I look at it.
Cheers!!
I don’t want to be nasty to all local arts councils or all of their board members. I have known some fabulous, dedicated arts council folks. However, I WOULD say that it appears to me that local arts councils serve two main functions:
To provide employment for arts administrators.
To provide a way for white middle class, upper middle class, and wealthy individuals to “support the arts” without having to interact directly with artists, who may appear to them to be misfits, miscreants, or in some way, “other.” In other words, people who don’t “deserve” financial support.
To me, this is not real support of the arts. One thing I would like to know from arts councils is: what percentage of their budget eventually finds its way into the pockets of artists. I will tell you it’s pretty damn close to zero.
I’m sorry to hear that this toxic situation has happened to you lovely people. I hope it all works out
Best wishes, Mel from Australia xxx
This is so problematic of the people in PA. I’ve lived here for 40+ years. If you weren’t born and bred here didn’t go to their schools, etc., they will see you as a threat. You can never do things as good as they do. Your ideas are not useful. Your help is not appreciated. So guys you’ve run into life in rural PA. Sorry this happened as I know you love your town. Just stay above the fray and realize petty people exist. I adore you.
Petty people do exist. Luckily, they are the minority. We’ll keep doing what we do with big smiles on our faces and big love in our hearts.
Thank you for sharing this. I joined a board of directors for a local art organization in the Seattle area, and I am shocked at the pettiness & laziness of some of the other members. Our mission is to share art with all & create a safe space in the community but behind doors it’s the opposite. I try to stay in my own lane & do what I can to make things better. It amazes me no matter where you are or what age people are that some let their low emotional intelligence and insecurities ruin it all instead of stepping back & getting the mental help they actually need.
It sure sounds like the small town shit that I’ve had to deal with. A slightly bigger goldfish in a tiny puddle of territory can be so very frustrating.
Thanks for sharing your news. Sorry to hear your council is run by such petty people. My small town art council is pretty good (they take feedback), but occasionally, I have to remind myself that it is a city organization run by and for the city and its businesses. Their agenda is to promote the city by promoting “the arts”. I organize local artists on my own and avoid the bureaucracy as much as possible. good luck!
Yeah, us too. Honestly, they don’t do much, but I like making sure this kind of thing doesn’t stay quiet.
Hmmm.. the benefit the artists would receive by participating in this event would be, let me guess… “exposure?”
lol… that hits the nail on the head.
Omg , Rafi. I was in this situation twice, but I just kept the piece and moved on. In my experience, these art councils are run by retired women who need to control something and deep down only see art as a hobby and something fun to do. Most of the professional artists (the ones making a living from their art) that I know avoid art councils like the plague. You, as a somewhat newcomer, are the “other” to discriminate against. Fuck courtesies and do your own professional thing. You deserve better.
I think you’ve handled yourself very well.
But what’s with the Farts Club? Maybe drop the term.
Nonetheless, if they can’t handle themselves fairly with everyone they need to step down.
Aren’t you and Klee from the west coast ? … people are different in smaller towns. Most usually keep quiet and move on.
You’ve had your say, you’re supported by the creative community – now let it go, and move on. Holding no animosity.
Had to stay away from naming them in any way, our website has strong SEO and it would take over Google. Hence Fart council. I’m not really picking it up or at war, but I will share my experiences.
Unfortunately this kind of petty bullshit goes on in a lot of organizations. The group that you’re setting up is a great antidote. When artists self organize and collaborate together they can achieve great things. Best wishes as you move forward. I love you guys.
Thank you!
Honestly you guys are better off doing your own thing, start your own collective/board or whatever. Nothing ruins a creative’s spirit more than gatekeepers and micromanagers. Some people get a little taste of control and power and it all goes to their heads. I never in my life heard of any art event that you couldn’t actually sell your work except a local Peony Festival that actually was a people’s choice competition for fun where people filled out ballots for their favourites. But even juried art shows I’ve entered gave you the option of listing your painting for sale. That’s very odd that they didn’t want anyone to vend. I mean what is the point of the event?
Definitely, we always do our own thing and work with awesome peeps and orgs. There’s lots to do! But I also love calling out people like this.
Thanks for sharing.