Get Your Mind Right Before Lack Of Time Runs Off With Your Sanity

Have you ever looked at the clock and thought, “There’s no way that says 4:30… I JUST woke up, how did I already lose a whole day?” Then you think, Wait. Did I even eat today? Did I actually send that email or did I just think really hard about sending it while staring at the wall in a stress-induced fog?

Yeah, same.

Time can be a punk-ass. And when you’ve got a lot going on—like trying to run a business, care for someone you love, show up for your community, be a functional human, and maybe, just maybe, wear socks that match—it tends to vanish like your favorite paintbrush when you’re on a deadline.

As some of you may know, the last couple of months have been… intense. Since December, we’ve been on a medical roller coaster. Klee was dealing with a mystery illness that sent us to emergency rooms and hospitals more than I care to count. After more tests than I knew existed and enough medical jargon to rival an alien abduction manual, we finally got a diagnosis: IBD.

Not the coolest acronym out there, but hey, we’ll take answers over mystery any day.

There was a period where Klee was completely bedridden—over a month. And during that time, the studio? Shut. Down. Hard stop. I tried to juggle things as best as I could, but let’s be honest: my number one job was taking care of Klee. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. But wow, time evaporates when you’re in caretaking mode. Days turn into nights turn into… what month is it again?

Now that Klee is doing much better (like walk-around-the-house-and-sass-me-lovingly-again better), I’ve been trying to fire up the engines and get back on track. Except… the track has been buried under a landslide of emails, projects, ideas, commitments, art supplies, and half-written to-do lists that say things like “do the thing!!” (What thing? Why didn’t I write it down??) or my favorite “review the L…” (What the heck is L??).

Here’s where it gets spicy.

Yesterday we went to her second doctor’s appointment this week, and I found myself sitting in the room with her doctor and blurting out, “Why am I so tired all the time?” Yep. I hijacked the appointment. I mean, it was already in session. Might as well throw my brain into the ring.

The diagnosis?
Stress.

Not like oh-you-need-a-bubble-bath stress. No, this was low-grade-anxiety-is-your-new-best-friend stress. The kind that’s sneaky. It doesn’t announce itself. It just quietly robs you of your sleep, motivation, and ability to string together full sentences without accidentally including the word “aaaaaaarrrgh.”

Not only has my mind been focused on Klee’s health (with its unpredictable ups and downs) and getting the studio running again, but I’ve got a mural commission that’s been absolutely kicking my ass. I’ve got a painting commission that I haven’t even touched yet. A gallery I haven’t communicated with in far too long. A makerspace project I’m trying to help organize but keep feeling like I’m failing at. The gutters need fixing, the yard looks like a jungle, and the list of home repairs is growing like it’s auditioning for a reality show called This Old Stressbox.

Oh, and did I mention our bank account is shrinking faster than my patience on a Monday morning?

It’s… to… much.

It’s not just the busy-ness or things that need to get done. It’s not even just the pressure. It’s the internal weight I’m carrying—the kind that comes from fear. Fear of letting people down. Fear of dropping the ball. Fear of losing the momentum I worked so hard to build. Fear of showing up as less than perfect (which, let’s be honest, has never been my vibe anyway, so why the heck am I stressing about it now?).

When your mindset is clouded with that kind of pressure, time doesn’t stand a chance. It feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, but the truth is, you’re so busy mentally time-traveling to all the things that might go wrong, you don’t get a chance to live in the moment that’s actually happening.

So here’s what I’m reminding myself right now (and maybe you need to hear this too):

Your worth is not determined by your productivity.
You’re allowed to drop the ball sometimes.
No one is actually expecting you to be a magical octopus of perpetual motion.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Especially if your cup has been hijacked by a doctor’s appointment and your emotional support coffee is cold.

I’m working on being kinder to myself. Recalibrating. Finding the small moments of calm in the chaos. Sitting outside with Klee and a cup of tea, talking about something other than logistics. Reminding myself that it’s okay to pause. To rest. To take a breath before I run full tilt into the next “important” thing.

Time isn’t going anywhere. But your mind? That needs care. That needs compassion. That needs space to just be without constantly trying to do.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like the clock is mocking you every time you glance at it… pause. Take a second. Take ten. Check in with your mindset. Because if you don’t, time won’t just feel fleeting—it’ll drag your sanity down the hallway like a bad horror movie.